The Old Band You Loved Will Get Its Shit Back Together

The old band you loved will get its shit back together

You will feel the giddy thrill you felt at 15

Your mind is not closed to wonder and damn it you will be awestruck

There is more than terror in realization

You will dance like you danced when you didn’t know you didn’t know how to dance

You will pick flowers from a far field for your sweetheart because that is what you do

You find the flowers for the ones you love because you love them and they are there

You sing songs for you and who will hear because the birds sing for no god damn reason

Some nights you will howl because all creatures will sometimes find themselves in a howling mood

It will be beautiful, and it will be forgotten

It will be haunting

It’s once again spooky season and like the day of the dead a reminder that even Newton knew we are never alone

You will find the world sick and on fire and you will wax poetic still the same

You will drive your darling home and silly slow waltz in the haze of the flames

You will feel the sting of tears from the smoke and overwhelming love and shame

You will drive on still the same

You will find time to rekindle old things

You will stop looking for meaning

And just look

Up on the Fridge

Up on the fridge

Where we put important things

Family photos, numbers for emergencies

Little jokes and reminders

Postcards and travel magnets

Scenic vistas and cherished smiling faces

Waylaid by the changes and trying to understand the time gone by

My old name tag pinning a lime green sheet

The form you signed when you decided not to die

Realizing how quickly things change and how hard you have to try

Oar

Your eyes spilling liquid amber into the pool

When we’re stripped threadbare on the sheets

And I’m wearing nothing but your ring

Is this still the thing gets your heart beating?

Sprawled across are playing cards

I like to say I’ve been trying hard

Have I gone too far?

Is it too late to play?

Is it too late to sing?

I feel I’ve worn out every stitch of patience

And tarnished every silver lining

There’s just a part of me with a blade ready against my hamstring

Never pass a chance to get plucked

A new source for the old well of sorrow and shame

Things have been a little dry

Add your tears to the waterfall

Add your eyes to the avalanche

Keep me warm swimming in the dark

Keep my head spinning in the still of the tempest

Just keep me, and keep me near

In the hollow of my cave and in the caverns of my mind I hear the steady hum of so many howling wolves

I’ve never seen days so desperate to devour and be devoured

I’ve never seen a spring and summer so soured

And such ceaseless seasons of senselessness and seizure

Your tiny hand an oar in rushing waters

Audrey open your eyes to the flora

Audrey open your eyes to the flora

Purple petals slowly coating the forest floor

See beauty drift sweetly in free fall before ya

I’ll admit that I’ve never done this before

When the shadow’s large and looming

And I’ve coughed up the last of my lung

In the ashes, there’ll be blooming

Red and black roses to be dried and hung

From the silence comes a buzzing

We fuss and we bumble, us busy ol bees

And there is really nothing

Beyond the world I’m in with you when we lie, when we sing

So sing me every Beatles song

Let me get at just what’s wrong

Wake to the sunrise in your eyes

Your face beaming in the dawn

So sing every single night

Tell me it will be alright

There’s blackbirds flapping out the light

There’s feathers falling on my eyes

Lay me down in fluffy stuff

These days play a little rough

All the cats are cheering together

When you smile, as the clouds open up

Desperate Despite the Despot

Desperate despite the despot

I don’t have a voice that shakes the rafters

Yeah but I cherish the horror

As spectral blades dripped blood in stillborn air

As the ageless haze fades over

The apocalypse within

Borne of a thousand good times

A thousand moments of no particular import

Just killing time

Speak ill of the dead

The cost of living

*

I feel like the spider died up in his web

Waiting for some prey to come his way that never did

Maybe he’ll surprise me, maybe he’ll just stay

Nothing comes so easy to those who wait

Count the inseams, count the missing scenes

Count the good dreams, not so many left as far as I can see

You said you’d love through all of that

I’m still waiting to find out how many asterisks attached

I said I’d love you through thick and thin

I’m still finding out just what that meant

As the sun is setting, I feel I’m finally waking up

I’m just hoping there’s time enough

Black Donuts Brown Sugar

Black donuts brown sugar

Skeleton umbrella back handle

Ignoring texts from friends

Nothing against them, I just don’t have enough left

Staying up late worrying

Getting up early dazed

It doesn’t matter what you do

And it doesn’t matter what you say

She will always be a day away from leaving you

I will try to find comfort in the rain

I will try to pry some pride from my shame

I will try to be a little less insane

I will be your man, and your man I shall remain

A human is human, so much less and so much more

Than the fire that you lie by, the wolf waiting at the door

In the end, you always break your own heart